THANK GOODNESS!! This is my last day of classes in law school and I can't begin to express how HAPPY I am!! Law school has been an absolutely miserable experience that is indescribable. Don't get me wrong, it will be worth it in the end. But these past 3 years have been really tough! Now all I have to do is pass my final exams.. and pass the BAR EXAM (unfortunately!)
Yesterday was a fairly peaceful day in District Court. I don't know if things have just been calm and a little more normal lately, or if I am just getting numb to crazy situations.... While preparing a traffic docket for court yesterday, I did notice that there was a man on the docket that is 108 years old!! Seriously?? The scariest part about that is that he actually had to be DRIVING in order to get a ticket for "Driving While Suspended"! I am anxious to see if this individual makes it to court???
Now it is time to gear up for some serious studying and buckle down for final exams....
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Stalking....
One of my favorite things to deal with in court. Nothing says "I love you" better than calling the boy who just broke up with you 100 times in 30 minutes, leaving him poisoned candy on his doorstep, or digging your key into the side of his pick up truck and writing " A** Hole" on the side... (thanks Carrie Underwood for giving every teenage girl in the United States that idea with the "Before He Cheats" song!).....
Stalking..also known as "harassing communications" in the legal community... is something that is VERY common. It is just as common with males as it is females, but the female stalkers always seem to be a little more funny to me....
SO let me tell you about a little story I dealt with a few months ago. To give a little background.... there was a girl and a guy that had been off and on dating for about a year. The guy seemed to be kind of a jerk, but the girl was not really what many would consider to be a "real looker." Whatever the situation may be, the girl was acting completely DESPERATE!~ This was around Christmas time, so the girl decided she would bake the boy lots of Christmas treats an take them to his house. She worked for DAYS on this divinity candy (which I hear is pretty hard to make).... SO the boy told her he was going "hunting" for a few days and he would call her when he returned... however, about 2 weeks went by and NO PHONE CALL! Therefore, instead of acting like a normal human being and just understanding that "he was not that into her"... she decided to repeatedly call, text, email, etc....... and did this for DAYS without one returned call or message... Because that obviously was not working, she decided to drive around town and look for him... and that is where the story gets good....
She finally found him on a Friday night at a bar... she spotted him in the bar parking lot holding the waste of another woman and kissing all over her. Naturally, instead of realizing he had moved on... this particular girl thought it was a MUST to get out of her vehicle and approach the boy and the "new woman." After some exchanged words, which included an admission from the new woman that the relationship has been going on for a while... the boy took off running down the street in an attempt to get away from the crazy girl... But old girl wasn't going to let him get away that easy... She tracked him down in her car and followed him all the way to his house (yes he ran all of the way to his house!!!)... he went inside and locked the door and turn out all of the lights.. The crazy girl then threw her self across the front door step and screamed crying for about 30 minutes... In order to get the crazy girl to leave, the boy decided he would set his car alarm off in order to attract neighbors and hopefully embarrass her enough that she would leave... NOPE! THIS DID NOT WORK EITHER!! She remained for quite some time...
I am pleased to report this couple worked things out (HAHAHA) and even stayed together for a few months after this... However, I do think this situation happened again and the couple has parted ways......
The moral to this story is.... if you have a perpetrator on your property... Remember, the car alarm might not be good enough to scare them off... it just depends on how crazy they really are....good luck with the stalkers.....
Stalking..also known as "harassing communications" in the legal community... is something that is VERY common. It is just as common with males as it is females, but the female stalkers always seem to be a little more funny to me....
SO let me tell you about a little story I dealt with a few months ago. To give a little background.... there was a girl and a guy that had been off and on dating for about a year. The guy seemed to be kind of a jerk, but the girl was not really what many would consider to be a "real looker." Whatever the situation may be, the girl was acting completely DESPERATE!~ This was around Christmas time, so the girl decided she would bake the boy lots of Christmas treats an take them to his house. She worked for DAYS on this divinity candy (which I hear is pretty hard to make).... SO the boy told her he was going "hunting" for a few days and he would call her when he returned... however, about 2 weeks went by and NO PHONE CALL! Therefore, instead of acting like a normal human being and just understanding that "he was not that into her"... she decided to repeatedly call, text, email, etc....... and did this for DAYS without one returned call or message... Because that obviously was not working, she decided to drive around town and look for him... and that is where the story gets good....
She finally found him on a Friday night at a bar... she spotted him in the bar parking lot holding the waste of another woman and kissing all over her. Naturally, instead of realizing he had moved on... this particular girl thought it was a MUST to get out of her vehicle and approach the boy and the "new woman." After some exchanged words, which included an admission from the new woman that the relationship has been going on for a while... the boy took off running down the street in an attempt to get away from the crazy girl... But old girl wasn't going to let him get away that easy... She tracked him down in her car and followed him all the way to his house (yes he ran all of the way to his house!!!)... he went inside and locked the door and turn out all of the lights.. The crazy girl then threw her self across the front door step and screamed crying for about 30 minutes... In order to get the crazy girl to leave, the boy decided he would set his car alarm off in order to attract neighbors and hopefully embarrass her enough that she would leave... NOPE! THIS DID NOT WORK EITHER!! She remained for quite some time...
I am pleased to report this couple worked things out (HAHAHA) and even stayed together for a few months after this... However, I do think this situation happened again and the couple has parted ways......
The moral to this story is.... if you have a perpetrator on your property... Remember, the car alarm might not be good enough to scare them off... it just depends on how crazy they really are....good luck with the stalkers.....
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
"The last thing I remember is him saying he would buy my next drink"...
......"and then I woke up to him saying....So there is the tattoo"(which was located on her butt cheek)...... Yes I actually heard that quote yesterday, and I couldn't help but to BUST out in laughter. I needed a little laughter in my day yesterday... I was in court ALL day, and even had 2 completely pointless trials about "hunting over baited fields" that lasted 1 hour and 45 min. a piece... It was pretty miserable! What defense do you possibly think you have when the game warden walks up on you in a tree stand with your gun loaded and corn all over the ground? And then things do not get any better for you when you point the gun at the game warden and yell "Who the F are you? Get outta here, you are messing up my deer hunting!" Some people are so stupid!!!
I literally can not even tell funny stories from court yesterday because I am SO sick of it right now (after yesterday)! But i do have a pretty exciting day today.. Me and the fiance are going to talk to the travel agent to book our honeymoon to BELIZE!! I am really getting excited about the wedding and moving to a new house. Last week I had the walls in his house repainted and got a new kitchen table. The next step is to put in the invisible fence, because my dog is a holy TERROR and she runs off all of the time!! However, she is the CUTEST corgi of all time!... she is my little princess PATSY :)
We also have and engagement party and my bridal tea coming up in about a week, and I am super pumped! All of my friends have done such a good job planning my engagement party... especially Laura !!(she is my really responsible friend that is always so good with things like this!)... I love having all of my friends and family together for a good time... and my sister is even bringing a date home from college!! I haven't met the boy yet... but from what i hear about him, he is going to be a winner and lots of fun!! However, I am a little worried about him being a big republican... haha just kidding! My sister will probably kill me for writing this!!!
Just because I am OBSESSED with my sweet corgi puppy.....
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
"See...what had happened was..."
.....the classic beginning to every sentence that comes out of a defendant's mouth when you ask them if they are pleading guilty or not guilty. You see, they just don't understand that there are only 2 possible answers to the question: "Are you pleading guilty or not guilty?"... They always want to try and explain themselves by saying "See...what had happened was..", which is usually followed by some CRAZY story or excuse on why they shouldn't be convicted of the crime. (I wish there was audio on this thing so I could actually record myself saying that phrase the way it usually comes out of their mouth... the accent I use makes it so much better!)
Which brings me to my second point for the day... CRAZY explanations and excuses.... I have thought about some of the stupidest ones I have heard over the past year and though I should start a running list... so here it goes:
1. While trying to explain to the judge that he should not be guilty of a DUI.... "See what had happened was... I was leaving my brothers birthday party and I just got pulled over. Judge, I ain't never even broken the law in my life....(brief pause)...except for like 4 other times"....those 4 other times just happened to be a reference to his 4 prior DUI's within the past 10 years....
2. "But Judge...what had happened was... I was asleep at my house and just got up and started sleep walking and walked to my car and got in and started driving.... I don't even remember fixing the vodka drink in my cup holder that night, and I don't remember purposefully peeing my pants in the back of the cop car in order to piss the cop off!"
3. While trying to get the judge to dismiss a speeding ticket..."Judge, I have a HORRIBLE bowel condition that makes me crap my pants (yes that was his exact words) all of the time. The condition causes me to have extreme uncontrollable diarrhea and that is what happened the day I was pulled over for speeding. I just had to make it to a bathroom!"....Now i will admit I felt sorry for the guy. I mean seriously, he just admitted in front of a courtroom full of people that he pooped his pants all of the time... I think I agreed to that ticket getting dismissed :) I know, I am a real sweetheart :) .......
So there is a few giggles for today... yall be good... and remember no speeding.. and if you do, just get ready to explain your explosive bowel condition to the judge....
Which brings me to my second point for the day... CRAZY explanations and excuses.... I have thought about some of the stupidest ones I have heard over the past year and though I should start a running list... so here it goes:
1. While trying to explain to the judge that he should not be guilty of a DUI.... "See what had happened was... I was leaving my brothers birthday party and I just got pulled over. Judge, I ain't never even broken the law in my life....(brief pause)...except for like 4 other times"....those 4 other times just happened to be a reference to his 4 prior DUI's within the past 10 years....
2. "But Judge...what had happened was... I was asleep at my house and just got up and started sleep walking and walked to my car and got in and started driving.... I don't even remember fixing the vodka drink in my cup holder that night, and I don't remember purposefully peeing my pants in the back of the cop car in order to piss the cop off!"
3. While trying to get the judge to dismiss a speeding ticket..."Judge, I have a HORRIBLE bowel condition that makes me crap my pants (yes that was his exact words) all of the time. The condition causes me to have extreme uncontrollable diarrhea and that is what happened the day I was pulled over for speeding. I just had to make it to a bathroom!"....Now i will admit I felt sorry for the guy. I mean seriously, he just admitted in front of a courtroom full of people that he pooped his pants all of the time... I think I agreed to that ticket getting dismissed :) I know, I am a real sweetheart :) .......
So there is a few giggles for today... yall be good... and remember no speeding.. and if you do, just get ready to explain your explosive bowel condition to the judge....
Friday, April 3, 2009
How do I know you???
...... "OH! You work at the DA's office and put me in jail about 2 weeks ago!".....
That is pretty much how the conversation went. Gosh I love it when that happens... Just one of the many perks that comes with prosecuting criminals.
Last night my wonderfully talented fiance' played the guitar and sang at a local eatery and brewery. I love going to hear him play by himself, because most other times he is playing, I have to play as well! (We are in a band together... and that is how we met... but he is a lawyer too. He just does boring civil work) The night was going great. Very relaxing and uneventful (just like I like it).... But then 10:00 rolled around and all of the "night owls" began to pour into the bar. One man in particular really stuck out like a sore thumb, as he strolled in with his skanky date rubbing all over him and carelessly smoking as many cigarettes as he could fit in his mouth. I don't know if it was the clothes he was wearing (ALL WHITE!! including white pants, a white sport coat, white shoes, and a ghost busters t-shirt) or if it was his extremely loud and annoying voice, that drew my attention to him.....
So anyways, I immediately knew that I recognized the man (which is usually not a good thing!).... As he began to dance all over the dance floor with his date, and throw out $20 bills on the stage, begging my fiance' to play certain songs, I realized where I knew him from. That's right!!! DEFENDANT!!!
I tried to hurry out the back door before he could stop kissing his date long enough to see who I was and talk to me, but unfortunately he caught me. I was glad the night was over and we were leaving when he finally realized who I was....
As i thought about what he had been prosecuted for, it finally hit me... Domestic Violence with his ex-wife... apparently the new girl that was with him had no idea of his violent tendencies... good luck with that girl....
Oh yea... I forgot to mention the Meth scabs all over his face... SO ATTRACTIVE! i MEAN SERIOUSLY??? Why anyone would want to do meth and look like that is beyond me? Just for a little more entertainment, I am including some before and after shots on people who use meth.... The left is before meth, and the right is after 1 year of using meth.. WOW!!!!
That is pretty much how the conversation went. Gosh I love it when that happens... Just one of the many perks that comes with prosecuting criminals.
Last night my wonderfully talented fiance' played the guitar and sang at a local eatery and brewery. I love going to hear him play by himself, because most other times he is playing, I have to play as well! (We are in a band together... and that is how we met... but he is a lawyer too. He just does boring civil work) The night was going great. Very relaxing and uneventful (just like I like it).... But then 10:00 rolled around and all of the "night owls" began to pour into the bar. One man in particular really stuck out like a sore thumb, as he strolled in with his skanky date rubbing all over him and carelessly smoking as many cigarettes as he could fit in his mouth. I don't know if it was the clothes he was wearing (ALL WHITE!! including white pants, a white sport coat, white shoes, and a ghost busters t-shirt) or if it was his extremely loud and annoying voice, that drew my attention to him.....
So anyways, I immediately knew that I recognized the man (which is usually not a good thing!).... As he began to dance all over the dance floor with his date, and throw out $20 bills on the stage, begging my fiance' to play certain songs, I realized where I knew him from. That's right!!! DEFENDANT!!!
I tried to hurry out the back door before he could stop kissing his date long enough to see who I was and talk to me, but unfortunately he caught me. I was glad the night was over and we were leaving when he finally realized who I was....
As i thought about what he had been prosecuted for, it finally hit me... Domestic Violence with his ex-wife... apparently the new girl that was with him had no idea of his violent tendencies... good luck with that girl....
Oh yea... I forgot to mention the Meth scabs all over his face... SO ATTRACTIVE! i MEAN SERIOUSLY??? Why anyone would want to do meth and look like that is beyond me? Just for a little more entertainment, I am including some before and after shots on people who use meth.... The left is before meth, and the right is after 1 year of using meth.. WOW!!!!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Here comes the bride....
....right out of the jailhouse door!! Yep, that is right! When I was leaving my office yesterday I noticed there were about 12 people in their "Sunday best" coming out of the jail. I heard someone yell out, "Are they having a wedding at the jail or something?" (Like it was a normal occasion..) Sure enough, a beautiful wedding ceremony had just taken place. I know the mother of the bride must have been SO PROUD of her daughter for marrying someone who was presently incarcerated!!! In the words of Dolly Parton in the movie Steel Magnolia's.. The nicest thing I can say about the blushing bride was that "all her tatoos were spelled correctly"... or atleast I think they were.....
I wonder if a "jailhouse preacher" married them? Apparently those "preachers" study and get their degrees from the same place the "jailhouse lawyers" get theirs!! (I am referring to the inmates who THINK they have law degrees and constantly write letters and "motions" to the judge about how their sentence should be overturned and they should be set free because of some RIDICULOUS reason)
So enough about work.... I am trying to make this blog look cuter... but i have been distracted all day with "wedding stuff." However, I did get a new kitchen table today!! YES!! it has been quite fun......
Goodbye for now... I am going to call the jail and see what florist they used for that wedding yesterday... I am sure they got an AWESOME deal.....
I wonder if a "jailhouse preacher" married them? Apparently those "preachers" study and get their degrees from the same place the "jailhouse lawyers" get theirs!! (I am referring to the inmates who THINK they have law degrees and constantly write letters and "motions" to the judge about how their sentence should be overturned and they should be set free because of some RIDICULOUS reason)
So enough about work.... I am trying to make this blog look cuter... but i have been distracted all day with "wedding stuff." However, I did get a new kitchen table today!! YES!! it has been quite fun......
Goodbye for now... I am going to call the jail and see what florist they used for that wedding yesterday... I am sure they got an AWESOME deal.....
OOPS!!
So i am an idiot and accidentally deleted my very first post!!! Sorry... i am still trying to get used to this thing!! I thought about my blog last night and I do want to make it a little more personal... so i am going to change the name and a few other things... but don't worry!! The stories will still be plentiful!!!
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